As the calendar year turns, I wish you love and joy - peace and freedom. May 2018 be your Leap Year! I am not suggesting that you rush off to your next attempt to force your way into a new life. The habituated patterns that mostly define our experiences are so automatic - so unconsciously motivated - that you have little hope of sustaining real change through the shear force of your will. Losing weight may help you fit into your clothes, but what is it that's going to help you really fit into your life. Finding the graceful and balanced experience of a life is more like learning how to dance than trying to execute some new life hack (insert smiley faces here).
Life has a rhythm to it. There is an ebb and flow that is inescapable. There are times when we are focused on steering our ship to some particular destination and that can feel exciting, empowering and clarifying. Then there are times when we find ourselves more adrift. Those moments always bother me until I remember that it is in these times of confusion and chaos that the next windows of evolutionary opportunity always arise. Evolutionary leaps can't happen when we are consumed with our plans to hack the mainframe of life. The windows of evolutionary opportunity come from being open, not from being convinced and sure of anything.
They tend to appear in ways we did not expect or desire. They come to our lives for many different reasons: the end of relationships, the end of a season, the loss of a job, an illness or the death of a loved one or the death of a dream. In these moments we may still want the waves of life's energies to continue flowing onto the shore of our desires but the tide recedes and the turmoil we feel is mostly our desire to hold on to the past.
We don't just long for its passion, clarity and resolve. It told us what to do and who we were and temporarily erased the ambiguity of our existence that we now find ourselves swimming in. Should we dare to pause, even for a moment, to embrace emptiness, we fear drowning in it. We rush to the old activities and put on a smile hoping to feel it but find ourselves even more out of touch with our insides. Maybe it's time to stop.
Accept the rhythm and let it be. Learning to let go is just as much a part of life as getting a grip. Grief is important work. Celebrating what was good about what is gone is often the source of new truth and vision - community and connection. Embracing the emptiness is better than trying to escape it. Jung once said "We do not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by calling the darkness into consciousness."
In Choosing to Evolve, I compare some of the elements of consciousness to a football team. Consider the possibility that your inner team has come to a crossroads. You can keep running the same plays or you can learn how to take your team off the field and go surfing.
If you are in tune with these thoughts right now then I invite you to join me in a season of reflection. Sure you can still go on a diet and get back to the gym, but perhaps this is the time to wander and wonder and begin to discover a new source of vision. When the tide turns you will be ready to surf it.
Learn more at www.choosingtoevolve.com